A love that's so demanding. I can’t speak.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

baaack

10:48 PM

Hey guys back from bali, i surfed it was awesome banged up my knee but awesome. HOTHOTHOT INSTRUCTOR OMG OMG OMG LIKE SIZZLE SO DAMN HOT

well i'll show you guys more later...

TO MARIAH:

I do understand that feeling of pain in your heart for someone whom you dont even know.

For me with Gerard he was just such an inspiration for me. He CHANGED my life with his lyrics. MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE itself changed myself and made me realise that its okay to be different to try new things to laugh for real, to smile for REAL, to be sad and express myself, to even fucking CRY, to seperate myself from the people i thought i loved, to feel for real. To be REAL. Not some dumb ass chick who follows with half a brain.

And i then understood my feelings.

obsession

reality

I FEEL that my admiration for him is real and if i got to it down with him and just talk about LIFE or even fucking comic books i'd treat him as a real person.

I've changed indifferently. For better? For worse?

I dont know.

Perhaps I never will. But for now I'm who I am because of HIM.

And not even Jo's poetic attempt of show her love for them is going to phase me.
JADED.
You know what I mean.
I love her to bits but she's JADED.

No way will i be convinced otherwise.

I congragulate him on his "supposed" engaement.

And I am disgusted that everyone is in his face. If Jo weren't obsessed why would she say"Her name is Eliza Cuts. Yes, she cuts hair. She looks like a splitting image of Jamia, except with shorter hair. And she has a website with 4 more people called 'world's most hated'. She's a hairstylist.
Can Gerard stoop any lower?
I saw a picture of her, and the video where Bob tries to cover up for Gerard's ring, which was suppose to be his grandmother's. Which is a lie. Which is a disgrace to the dead woman. Elena, may your soul rest in piece. Though I don't think it will because your grandson just lied about you giving it to him. Bob was actually quite funny. He was trying to cover for Gerard, saying it was a friendship ring. Go search it. "

Why the fuck do I care?

If he's happy so be it.
----------------------
The White Stripes are fucking rad yes. I started liking them since their album "Get Behid Me Satan"

RJA awesome got their album a month ago.

30 Seconds to Mars. Inspirational. Thanks to my mom for this fab xmas present.

so to say that a certain someone thinks its cool to say that she likes these bands over and over when its actually a cover up for her love and jaded hate for another is sickening.

---------------------

SLASH IS A GUITAR GOD.

Enough said.

---------------------

RAGGAE CLUBS IN BALI ARE THE HOTTEST SHIT.

---------------------

I am suddenly hit with this sickening sensation.

I can't believe I stooped to her level.

I apologise Mariah.

A feeling of Betrayel has also burned into my core.

Jo I think...

Yes Betrayel.

A biting word isn't it??
It sinks into your very being until it suffocates you with a sense of hurt. A sharp. Stinging pain. A feeling i am not getting over very soon. But this betrayel has silently turned to disgust. Disgust of what a person can do to your mind set, a way someone can get in your head and just play with it till you have nothing left to believe in.

I do not trust. "Nevermore." in the words of the amazing poet Edgar Alen Poe. May your soul rest in the fiery darkness that dwells in your mind.

Close friends you are dear. and it shall stay that way till i deem not.

--------------------

Damn I feel poetic today. I hope I have not offended anyone. To thine reader I apologise if you have taken offence please turn thy a blind eye and forgive me.

--------------------

And I've fallen through the air
I used to live out on the moon
But now I'm back here down on Earth
[Pre-Chorus]
Why are you here?
Are you listening?
Can you hear whatI am saying?
I am not here
I'm not listening
I'm in my head
And I'm spinning
[Chorus]
Is this who you are?
Some sweet violent urge
Are we fallen now? (are we fallen now?)
With the promise of an end
All the pretty people die
Innocence is out of style
All the whores have gone away
Now there's nothing left for me (now there's nothing)
[Pre-Chorus] and [Chorus x2]

thats how i feel.

Fallen. by. 30 seconds to mars

---------------------

love ya'll,
misery

written, Thats All She Wrote

soul

Im Everything and Nothing I am you, I am Me I am this, I am that Take me for what I am Or take nothing I am Unique I am different I am what I am I love Music I was Born For This

bitter past

them

View them If you Wish Because They are more amazing then You'll ever be.

Dwi
Trish
Mariah
Baka Family Blog
MyChemicalRomance/
MY Myspace
Friendster

misc

"Whenever I'm alone with you. You make me feel like I am whole again. However far away I will always love you." - The Cure "Lovesong"

Talkflooble chatterbox, a free javascript chat tag board / shoutbox / tagboard program for your xanga, diary, blogger or weblogBlackjack Rules

gratitude

I II III