8:22 PM
Hi eyeryone...
Have you ever realised that I only trust my inner circle? And even then I only let very few into my core... I have been a real jack ass for trusting certain people... Like Jo....I dont know
how to trust her when her lips are coated with butter, they are so LOOSE! I tell her something and only her and suddenly the next day someone else knows....I hate that....and sometimes she can be the sweetest person on the planet and the next she is mean and insulting and she seems as if we never talked at all... how do i trust that?....I hate how I'm letting myself go...why? can anyone help me?....
C'mon C'mon C'mon I said Save ME!
Get me the hell out of here!
Save ME!
Too young to die and my dear!
You Cant!
If you cant hear me just walk away and!
TAKE ME!
Well so far I hope you are enjoying reading this about my crap slice of a life. Well they say I've got it good. But how is watching the argument you're parent's had the day before they divorced and you were only lets see...4 years old? Seeing you're mom date guys u liked before breaking up with them? Finding the right one but you cry out of no reason when she tells you they want to get married and then she gets pissed and understands and decides to wait? You realise you have a phobia of this new guy taking you're dad's place and you are so close to breaking down that you cry every night? The crying stops as you meet a guy, the guy of you're dreams. He loves you you love him. But after a while the talking slows and you start to get desperate because he lives all the way in Perth. You become depressed and start to act everyday of your life. You manage to fool everyone even you're parents and you're closest friend in school. You cry as you read a book as it sounds so much like what is going on. You talk to him and he seems cold and distant. You start to feel desperate trying to cling on to his prescense. You decide a surprise but it only gets him mad and he ignores you. You don't know why as you cry at night feeling as if he pulled you close as if to kiss you only to shoot you in the heart leaving you to fade...
Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I Thought I'd choke on figure out.I'm really not so with you anymore,
I'm just a ghost...
You wake up a new person. You realise you're old flame is coming to your house along with your best friend and her little sister, and you have a strange feeling. He comes and baisically charms you off your feet as you spend time talking about each other's most intimate secrets. Of family. You are only able to lean on his knee relishing this very small touch. He leaves and you wish he could've spent the night as your mom says it would've been alrigt because of the situation. Your friends and yourself go up to your room and chit chat before sleeping. The next day he comes over and we have fun. You head back to the room and play dare. Your friend who had made out with him once for a dare is asked to do 7 minutes in heaven. You feel alright seeing as she said that she was no longer interested. You open the door at times up and see them jumping apart. You can feel the tears sting you're eyes as you fake a smile and murmur "Times Up...". You storm into the room and sit far away from them as he lays on your bed and your friend sits on an edge. Soon she comes to you asking whats wrong? You fake a smile and scribble on a piece of paper. "You promised!" she looks appaled as you stand to lead the guy out. She hisses "I never promised!" you glare at her and say "You did!" as you storm out the guy is left standing and your friend saying something. You put on an act as you say good bye trying you're hardest to look away from him. He leaves and you all go up. You're friend and you work out the kinks and are alright but you still feel a hint of betrayel as she says she would only use him as a hook up.
I feel a bit like this chorus...
If I'm so wrong,
How could you listen all night long?
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamn thing...
And now the sad thing is.... I cant choose between my new love and my old flame... They are both wonderful people with a bad boy streak which I absoloutely LOVE! But I feel like I'm betraying both. My friend who 'likes' my flame says he has too much emotional baggage and she doesen't want that. But I like that. It makes them both seem real.
Can you see?
My eyes are shining bright,
Cause I'm out here on the other side,
Of a jet black hotel mirror,
And I'm so weak.
Is it hard understanding?
I'm incomplete.
A love thats so demanding!
I get weak...
Well I hope the ppl involved in this(NOT MY PARENTS!!!) read this. Especially the guys. They need to know.
I'm not afraid of death anymore,
Chelsey
written, Thats All She Wrote
